My Biggest Weakness

Those of you who know me in real life know that I'm not normally one to bring up anything. I'll never tell you to your face if you're getting fat. I'll never tell you that you smell worse than my two year old nephew's dirty pull-up. I'll never tell you that your boyfriend is worse than a scumbag. It's just not me to say out loud what's on my mind.

This has saved me from a lot of arguments in my life. Non-confrontational should be my middle name. I avoid fights at all costs.

This means that people sometimes assume I'm a good listener. It's true. I do listen very well. I empathize like no one else can. I also have this thing where I'm a horrible secret keeper and a horrible liar. Plain, uncensored truth is my game.

That also means that I get walked on a lot. I get used. Even by people who supposedly love me. It isn't their fault, really. I make it easy on them. I let people get away with cheating on me. I let them get away with borrowing obscene amounts of money and never paying me back.

It all stems back to my desperate need to be liked. If I always give everyone what they want, then they like me.

But then it hit me like lightning strikes a lightning rod.

When is someone going to give me what I want?

I don't ask a lot from my friends, my boyfriend or my family. All I want is to be loved and appreciated. There's so many different ways to show me that, that it's hard to believe that I normally feel like an unwanted piece of garbage. And yet, I find myself crying in bed after my boyfriend is asleep.

One of my goals is to stop this cycle. I'm going to stop always giving in to what everyone else wants. I'm going to start openly asking for what I want. It's about time to stop the hurting and start enjoying what I have.

What is your biggest weakness? How can you overcome it?